February 28th, 2010 / No Comments » / by kushalzone
If you get in my way, I’ll kill you!
- ideal project manager
If you get in my way, you’ll kill me!
- somewhat less than ideal project manager
If I get in my way, I’ll kill you!
- somewhat misguided project manager
If I get in your way, I’ll kill you!
- A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.)
If get kill in will way I you.
- dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager
I am the way! Kill me if you can!
- messianic project manager
Get away, I’ll kill us all!
- suicidal project manager
If you kill me, I’ll get in your way.
- thoughtful but ineffective project manager
If I kill you, I’ll get in your way.
- project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious
If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.
- project manager from New York
I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so no one will get killed.
- project manager who is about to get in big trouble
If you kill me, so what? If you get in my way, who cares?
- weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager
If I kill me, you’ll get your way.
- pragmatic project manager
Kill me, it’s the only way.
- every project manager to date
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Posted in: IT humor, Software Engineering Humor
February 28th, 2010 / No Comments » / by kushalzone
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there,another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed to the customer,saying, “That’ll be $5,000.”
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled,the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,”That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did it cost so much? “The shopkeeper answered, “Ah,that monkey can program in C – very fast,tight code,no bugs,well worth the money.”
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. “Hey,that one’s even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?”
“Oh,that one’s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming,Visual C++, even some Java All the really useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.The tourist gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one costs more than all the
others put together! What on earth does it do?”
The shopkeeper replied, “Well, I haven’t actually seen it do anything, but it says it’s a project manager”.
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Posted in: IT humor, Software Engineering Humor
February 19th, 2010 / No Comments » / by kushalzone
A project manager and two programmers are working on an urgent project. One day they decide to walk to the nearby beach during their lunch hour.
Halfway up the beach, they stumble upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says “normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish.”
One of the programmers goes first: “I’d like to spend the rest of my life living in Hawaii, in a huge house, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.” The genie grants his wish and sends him off to Hawaii.
The other programmer goes next: “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.” The genie grants his wish and sends him to the Mediterranean.
Then it’s the project manager’s turn. “And what would your wish be?” asks the genie.
“I want them both back after lunch” replies the project manager.
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Sanjaal.com is owned and maintained by Sanjaal Corps, Nepal. Sanjaal Corps offers Webhosting and Domain Registration Services, IT Solutions and Business Analysis. Sanjaal.com features H1B Visa Information, Entertainment Portal, Directory Service, Current News, Articles, Tutorials on Java and J2EE Platform, Digital Photography and High Resolution Picture Gallery. Future plan includes Open Source Software Development Portal, Technical Solutions and Customizable Movie and Music Arena.
Posted in: IT humor, Software Engineering Humor
